Being one of those people who just get a sense about people almost immediately when I meet some, I consider myself judgmental. This isn’t a positive attribute I will admit, but an honest one. Most people would call it the ability to sense someone’s character. Others would throw an “it” or “ist” behind another word and think less of me.
The truth is that I trust no one. I respect others on various levels, but trust must be earned. I’m an observer in life, I stand on the sidelines and watch how a person treats those in their surroundings. I fully subscribe to the idea that if a person treats the waiter the same way she treats a CEO she, or he, is someone of good, strong, positive values. Someone I will trust and respect. Someone to invite to my dinner table.
Everyone meanders through life with the notion that they are a good person. But is this really true? How many truly good people do you know? We all have that one good friend who treats service staff like dirt. We have that one yes man, who pleases everyone because they don’t know how to say or hear NO.
The reality is this, I will fully admit to judging a person by their deeds. History, and a long list of silver tongues in my life, have taught me that actions do honestly speak louder than words.
Think of dating, I know a list of hopeless romantics who want the fairy tale, the Hollywood ending. Unless there are 1,000 off-white daisies, intermixed with candles, and a small live band playing the immortal Nat King Cole’s ‘Unforgettable‘ in the room… he doesn’t truly love me! You know the type, grand gestures are the only proof they need, and nothing short of grand will do.
Romance is not always grand. I consider myself to be a romantic but more in the “Interview with a Vampire” sense, not the “Twilight” antsy teen sense. When I read the story of Louis and Lestat in my teens I was incensed. Their’s was a love built on give and take, from mistrust and caution to love, respect and trust. Love that would last centuries, not weeks. They did for each other, they respected first and loved second. That my friends is love.
Love isn’t flowers and chocolates. It’s a romantic dinner for two at the kitchen table on a Tuesday with grocery store flowers and dollar store candles when you’re on a budget. It’s a stroll in the park, arm in arm on a lovely spring day because to be anywhere else in the world seems a lonely thought. It’s a fresh cup of coffee when you roll over on a Sunday morning. It’s a text when you awake in the morning saying “thinking of you”, and one at night saying “Hope you’re home safe. Sweet dreams”.
Hearts and candy, shiny diamonds, and proposals on the jumbo Tron are all about status and the outside world’s opinions. Honest love respects space and boundaries, while still being present. It says “I’m thinking of you” or “Hey, how was your day?” when the thought comes to mind.
I’m in my mid-*ahem*thirties*ahem*, and when my mom asks me to text when I get home, I do. It’s is a 15 minute drive from my place to my parent’s, but this is my Mom’s way of saying “I Love You!!” “You’re important to me, I just want to know you’re safe.” That my friends is true, honest love.
Once in a blue moon, you come across someone whose character speaks volumes. These are the people that draw others in life like moths to flame. It isn’t due to celebrity, power, riches or popularity. People are just instinctively drawn to a person for purely positive reasons. These are once in a lifetime entities here on Earth. These are the people who treat the barista the same as their boss. People who see the world for the people in it, as we’re all one and the same. They’re not yes men, but still someone who makes everyone feel as if we’re all equal. Accepted no matter what.
These people will celebrate with you just as easily as they’ll call you on your bullshit. These people do not answer to anyone but Humanity itself, and the call is loud.
You’ve met one, surely, at some point in your lifetime. That person who holds a quiet, respectful power over others. The person who everyone trusts even though you’ve just met and don’t really know why, deep down in your gut you do. The person others seek for help, support, advice. The one whom the room respects, but can’t remember what action it was they were there to pay homage to.
Hold these people dear. They are brilliant stars in the night sky. They burn bright, drawing the world in if only for a short time. And true to stars that burn so bright, if you stare too long you will be burned. You often get only one true chance with these glorious beings, and once you truly blow it… that’s it.
You will get the same treatment as everyone else in humanity because they do not know how to act any differently, but you’ll never see them shine as bright ever again. Once trust is lost, it can never be reclaimed. They will forgive a multitude of failures, but even stars have a limit to how long they can shine.
Cherish the stars in your life. Treat them as you would wish for yourself and you will be rewarded with a love you may otherwise never know. Reach too far however, and your world will be plunged into a darkness you’ll never recover from.
To a wonderful star, thank you for love.
My Balancing Act 